| Dec 25, 2015 5:36:42 GMT |
Post by Bone Dry on Dec 25, 2015 5:36:42 GMT
[ Written in Sterlings POV, a style I rarely write in. Mentions and appearances: Benny, Mable, and Ari ]
To be quite honest, I really don’t know how long its been since I relocated to the Thicket. I suppose, it’s been close to a year now. I hadn’t planned to stay here so long but I did without realizing it. It just sorta happened and as time pasted by I still could not get used to the feel of an empty bed. It was so strange, its been a whole year since I shared my bed with anyone beyond my brother who comes to check on me from time to time. He just came over and stayed me when I was like this. Lost, confused, and hopeless. In short, I guess I was depressed. It always seemed to happen every few months. I would be perfectly fine and then next moment I would be down. He suggested that maybe I should return to the city but that merely wasn’t an option for me.
To be quite honest, I really don’t know how long its been since I relocated to the Thicket. I suppose, it’s been close to a year now. I hadn’t planned to stay here so long but I did without realizing it. It just sorta happened and as time pasted by I still could not get used to the feel of an empty bed. It was so strange, its been a whole year since I shared my bed with anyone beyond my brother who comes to check on me from time to time. He just came over and stayed me when I was like this. Lost, confused, and hopeless. In short, I guess I was depressed. It always seemed to happen every few months. I would be perfectly fine and then next moment I would be down. He suggested that maybe I should return to the city but that merely wasn’t an option for me.
I couldn’t go back to Benedict Church. I don’t think he would take me back with the words we exchanged last and how I just up and left him in the middle of the night. No, we didn’t fight but it was just a soft exchange -- or questions really. In hindsight, he might have been fine with everything but I was too scared of what he might say to me.
I sighed softly while staring at the small Christmas tree in the corner of my living room. I couldn’t sleep in my bed and thus I moved to the sofa for rest, without success. Down the hall, my daughter rested soundly in her room. She was a year old now, not knowing her father. I should take her back and at least let him meet her but once again the coward in me refused to go. I often thought of just leaving and going to him. Hell, I even had a fucking suitcase packed and it rested by the front door but I never had to courage to just take it and go. Everyday I looked at it and everyday I touched it but never once moved it. Now, the poor thing was dust ridden. I pulled my eyes from the tree and flopped over on my side, pulling a thin blanket over myself.
I must be some kind of messed up, really. I could kill a human without a care in the world but I couldn’t go back to the one I loved and just couldn’t tell him. I missed him so much. I missed the smell of his overly priced cologne, the way he spoke as if he was bored with the world, his deadpan expressions. Everything that pissed me off I missed. He was such a rough man but he never treated me as a toy or pushed me away like he did with so many. But damnit, I never knew how he felt nor could I fucking get it either. I wanted some kind of confirmation of his inner feelings but that was like pulling teeth and that was one reason I left. If he couldn’t love me or at least show me in some form then how would he show that to a child he had no idea he sired?
Why was my fucking life always such a wreck? I couldn’t make a simple decision correctly and how I was even raising this tiny thing on my own was a mystery. She was such a tiny thing who required all my attention. I didn’t mind it, in fact I enjoyed it greatly. Still, as much as I loved her, she broke my heart sometimes too. It was nothing she did it was just the way she looked. I’ll be damned but she had his hair and eyes. Sometimes, even her little expressions where a mirror image of him. Leave it to the fucker to give her all of his genetics. At least I didn’t have to worry too much about my own in her as she took after her father more then anything. However, she did carry little fawn spots on her sides which easily marked her as a magi. As for her powers? I have no idea if she even has any as she has shown no signs.
Probably going to love guns when shes older, great. I sighed again to myself and tossed on the sofa. I tried to force my mind to a new subject but all it did was return to that damn Church. I wouldn’t admit it outloud, but I wished that he would come and find me and force me to come back home. I often pictured him just kicking in my front door and dragging me off by the horns that I finally allowed to grow to their full length. I pictured him holding me, kissing me and let my imagine run wild in the middle of the night when alone. Course, none of that brought him any closer to me. For all I knew, he forgot about me and moved on---which is what I wanted anyways, wasn’t? I mean, he couldn’t have a person like me around him all the time. Especially with a child. He had an image to uphold. He had status, a business, and god help him if anyone found out he had a child that was Magi, with a Magi. It would ruin him---another reason why I left.
I would be nothing more then trouble. If I wasn’t causing violence then by god it would follow me. Lord knows how many times I got into a fight here in the Thicket when someone got a bit wordy with my choice of man. But whatever, after a while I stopped caring. Unable to get comfortable on the sofa I sat up again and put my hands in my face. Seriously, this was the fourth day of no sleep. I’m gonna die at this rate, wasn’t I? I slowly lifted my head and looked back towards the suitcase and thought about just going. It was Christmas, surely, he wouldn’t send me away? But then again, he might and I had a wee one I would have to drag with me. I am sure he would be horrified by that discovery. Lord help us all! As I stared towards the door, my mind wondered back to him and how it would all go down if he came here. Would he be happy? Would he smile at me or would he looked bored from the whole ordeal? Worse of all, would he be pissed and bring Hunters or send them? He was one of them in the past after all…
Slowly, I stood and moved towards the shelf near the tree and picked up a pack of cigarettes and lit one up. I wasn’t a smoker but recently I turned into one from all the stress of being a single parent and the worry about Benny. Hell, I even worried about Mable and what she was doing. I hoped that she was being a good girl. As much as she joked about me being her mother and as often as I denied it----I really left like her parent. I considered her one of my own and I left her behind too. I felt like a piece of shit but it had to be done. I had to protect him didn’t I or at least him image around the public. Fucking selflessness, it wasn’t like me. I took a long drag and reflected on my Goddess who also visited me. She gave me courage to get through the day and watched my wee one when I was away. But I hadn’t seen her in a while. I really had no idea where she disappeared too.
I guess I was a lost cause. She might of grown tired of me and left but then again she isn’t that type of Goddess. Looking down at myself, I adjusted my night shirt that was two sizes to big on me and my little shorts. God, I needed to get a new pair of sleep wear. Fuck it, I just need to get sleeping pills. Letting out a small bit of smoke from my lungs I tilted my head to the side. My brows came together in serious thought as my heart pounded. I could hear footsteps coming towards my front door and I did not like it. It was well past three in the morning and that was never a good sign. Had my brother decided to come visit me so late? I know it couldn’t be my little patron, she walked far too softly. These where the steps of someone on a mission and that was what scared me. I didn’t hear the bell or the cry of the folk in this town so it couldn’t be hunters.
I took a deep breath and looked towards my daughters bedroom, at the same moment a knock sounded against the door frame and I froze. I froze as still as a statue with my ears perking up. What should I do? Should I answer the door? Should I run for it? I closed my eyes and took a drag, hoping the person would go away. But the knocking increased in pace and sound. It became so loud I was starting to wonder if it would wake up my little one. The muscles tensed in my jaw and I finally decided to go to my door. I hadn’t a peep hole but by God I should make one! I leaned my back against the door and spoke softly, tiredly, “Who is it? I ain’t got time for creeps out at night.”
There was no reply. Good, that meant they walked away but I didn’t hear them retreat. Troublesome. Regardless, I was ready to set a bitch on fire if they did anything stupid. I wish they had because I wasn’t ready for the voice I heard behind the door. It was soft, familiar, and muffled but I still knew that voice. My eyes grew as large as they possibly could. My heart stopped and the breath I had seemed to have trapped itself in my lungs. My poor cig slowly burned with ash gathering quickly at its tip from being idle. I held that stick between my fingers and slowly turned to face the door. Was this some kind of cruel joke? It had to be…it just had to be.
“Linneaus.”
There was that fucking name. I hated that goddamn name and only two people knew what my name actually was! But that voice did not belong to my bother. I opened my mouth to tell him to go away, that he had the wrong house, anything at all! But my words where lost and my trembling hand came to rest on the locks, unlatching it. I really had no idea what I was doing until my hand rested on the handle. I paused. What should I do? What should I say? This had to be a dream, didn’t it? He wouldn’t be behind my door. He had no reason to be there but my heart told me otherwise. That he had a reason…
I suddenly felt anxious. My hair was messy, my antlers fully grown for the first time in a long time. My clothing choices were poor and knowing him, he would be perfect. I tired to send him away after my voice came back to say he was at the wrong house. But as soon as I tried to deny him the handle in my hand twisted and there was not a fucking thing I could do about it. The door opened while I did nothing to stop it. Fuck my life, he was there. Benedict Church had opened my front door and he was looking at me strangely. I guess it might be because I was smoking and promptly dropped that poor cancer stick the moment I saw his face. He was as handsome as I remembered, he was dressed in his usual, hair done well, and over all looking to fucking perfect. I didn’t care what kind of look he was giving me or what he even thought about me. It couldn’t stop me from embracing him, kissing him fiercely because fuck this shit. Dream or not I was going to take advantage of it before I woke up. Because Benedict Church had other things to do other then appear at my front door step after abandoning him for a whole fucking year. I couldn’t stop myself and I didn’t want to let go even though common sense told me other wise. I didn’t even know why he came here and before I could even ask, before any of us could speak my little one came out from her room.
Her dark hair pulled back with a small clip, rubbing at her eyes she looked at the both of us. She was too young to speak but she didn’t have too. I was sure Benny could do the math and my only reply to him was to say, “Sorry, I couldn’t quite wrap that late Christmas present.” I laughed lightly as he just started at me and then the little one, not saying a word but I could tell he was here for me. He was going to drag me back and with our daughter too.
A feminine hand came out and took hold of my dust covered suitcase and I could tell it was Mable without even looking. Beyond Benny's shoulder that I rested my head against, I could see the faint outline of Ari, looking at me with a bright smile. Ha, so that is where she went off too, getting me my Christmas present.
I was in so much fucking trouble and I was perfectly okay with it.
I was in so much fucking trouble and I was perfectly okay with it.
